Hi world! bajet ada orang baca. haha! tak kesah lah. ok. there are lots of stuff happening lately, and they even didn't give me a chance to breath. one came after another. left me behind, like a dead meat. but as people always said, "no pain, no gain". ever heard them? never mind. so what i actually trying to say is that, now i'm in the phase that i have to struggle and feel the pain to get the best place in my life. for my own future.  so no matter how much pain i will feel and receive, i'll just go on with it. just go through together with the flow. just go on. and besides, now then i realize that when we do and settle all things alone, then we feel like an adult. no need to wait for others to do it for us. doing things all alone. i just realize that they are not easy at all, doing those stuff alone. how about doing it, settle it for others? like our parents used to be doing? do you realize them now? the sacrifices.

but to be honest, i'd never been so comfortable now. lots of things to be think and plan. am i choosing the correct and true path. choosing future. am i at the best track? am i? it is hard for oneself to choose. one will always seek for supports and helps in dealing these kind of stuff. i need it, deadly. but the only answer is, "choose whatever you want". although i'm used to this kind of answer, but at least, just for this time, help me. why won't you help me? i'd been trying to gasp for air, searching for clear running water, lurking out in the cold windy dawn lurking for the first sunshine. suffocating all alone. but how could you never aware of it. and even get mad with me? is that seriously fair for me? been doing my best in living till now just for you. sacrificing whatever it takes to help. but.
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seriously id been doing everything myself, to ease you. but never mind. i'm okay. k, then~


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