The day was not bad. though it seems to be going on so swiftly without me even trying to plan a thing. i just did whatever they were and i'd never felt so free before. i really did something that i'd never thought i would be even doing. well, i'm the kind of person who really don't like watching movies or even dramas which the one who were exploiting the whole stories were the girl. got what i meant? but yup i'm totally aware that mostly, they are. but at the very least they aren't the "girly" stuff that they even speak. sorry, my bad. but. seriously. i'm not into it so much. judging the whole thousand pages book, just by its cover. hohoho..

today, as i am saying. i'd been searching for other thing to be on with, other than reading manga and waiting for the movies-online. so i'd search into my lappy and what do you think i would ever find. some dramas and movies. well, i inherited this lappy. they were "Gossip Girl". first and second seasons. i was stopping myself from clicking the icon but i really couldn't stop it. hoho. and so i spent my whole day watching. such a stupid guy i was. the story was apparently long and i wouldn't bother to stop. and they were just the 1st and 2nd. now it's up to season 5 or 6 if i'm not mistaken. but, i know i'm too much before. but they story was actually okay. not so "girly" btw.

when i was watching they whole dramas. so much thing came out of my head that i really couldn't even stop. relationships are not easy to be broken when you had started them. so, when we actually starting one, be sure you're doing the right choices. and even, it seems like that today eras are even more challenging than before. i actually admit that as one of the new people in this whole world, i don't actually know anything that had happened before, ever since i was born and maybe before that. we never know. about grudges, regret, choices, and etc..that our parents, grandparents had been through. some may know but almost all never know a thing. funny isn't? how life is currently and actually are vicious from the start. well, i actually made those sentences. don't ever remember my words if you  don't believe me.

besides that. there are other thing that is bothering me more than the other. have you ever thought that all of us are going to die and it is just the matter of time. no matter if you are young or old. but of course we had been worrying about the elders nowadays. aren't we. well, yeah. i'm currently living with my bloved grandma. she is very hardworking that even at her age, there is none who will be able to interrupt what she is doing. always having her countercurrent things to be done after the thing she actually was doing awkwardly had been stop by us, bad people. hoho kidding. she had been making me worry that she even makes me feel horrible. whenever there were silent, i'll be panic and i'll search for her. until i found her. a mere sound from her would never make me feel better than the others. i care and i love her. how i wish that she is the kind of woman which will always stay quiet and would never done things whatever they wanted then. idk..hoho. but when i didn't hear any, it really did scared me to death. but to be more wise, this is how life is. the reality. and it depends on us to think and choose the choices ahead. life is about choices and it is totally normal that some might choose the hard way compared to the easy going. well, they should have been thinking about their future, life stuff deeply. some may choose the hard one because of love, relationship. but some also choose hard way just for the matter of money, career, though they really looking forward for love. but that is life. He planned, we choose. so, be wise. hoho i remembered some dialogues from gossip girl season 2, 

serena's mom : How do you get so wise?
eric : the nanny.

funny? well i think it is. and i even laugh like awkward pumpkin. 

so, we can't literally explain love precisely. can we? is totally different, and we have no right to comment other's way of loving. some love eating. other may love talking. so. don't judge as if we know everything. then~


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