just drop it. will ya?

Flying to somewhere (by Antonio Zarli)
No No no. sir, you're wrong. You don't have the right to judge people. whether they're obviously fact and people all over the world say it. You may be correct, but human are not that easy to comprehend. we're complex. so, be thankful that we're made that way. for example, when you see the picture up there. the descriptions would differ between people. some will say, "we're small compared to the world beyond.". some will say, "we have long way to go in  life, so cherish our life.".  while other say, "God creates the world so beautiful. its so wonderful.".

how about the second one? some will say, "feels alone, solitude.". "i'd never touch the snow.". while other might said,"urm, the angle is just nice. great photography.". though we look the same, doesn't mean that we think about the same thing. see what i meant? 

okay, first stuff, "happy Ash Wednesday!". to all christian people, especially the Catholics. Hope you'd endure the fasting period with ease. me? i'd made some mistakes today, in the morning as i watched tv then i unconsciously went to the fridge, took a plane of oreo cookies that i made yesterday. and i ate 4 pieces of them and then i remember about the fasting thing. and i felt horrible as it was still 9am. OMG! haha stupid me. but then, i kept on remembering myself about it and it went just fine. but i did drink some mineral water. but i'm happy that i did it. you may call me a freak but i'm trying to be a good christian. nothing so great, no agenda, just trying to get better. today, i'd read the bible and kept myself optimist and positive. but yet i still get angry for useless things. i really get down whenever i'd been attacked while you'd done nothing at all. how i wish i could explain, "you'd misunderstood me. stop your stupid assumptions.". really.

some might said that lent season is just about fasting. no food, no drink. if you think you have and must do it. just do it. really. if it is good for you, why not? no one says that it is wrong. even if you have no religion, no one say you can't fast. i'm right, didn't i? but the most important thing is to stop doing stuff that you always do. stuff that you really crave for or addicted. the objective is to make you feel the difficulties, the hard time, just to make you realize the important of being thankful to our life. how our life had been so great. we never know that if we don't lose them. really. that's my opinion. of course the church said that, it was to show us the sufferings Jesus had endured for us human being. he died, sacrificing himself for us. thank God!. but for me, i preferred the first one, as God always told us to be thankful and living is for sharing. don't keep thing just for ourselves. have you ever think about it? where you keep on trying to get more and more money, buy expensive things. showing off your wealthiness. boasting. when i realized about it back then, it really gave me a great impact on how i think thereafter. now, i don't even think  so hard on having a new smartphone or all the gadgets that i'd been craving like hell. yeah, i know that i'm not good, but please don't judge me. i'm insanely trying to be better. i look proud or boastful, so what's the big deal. do you want me to have a plastic surgery? to make my face look so humble? i'm sorry for being a lil bit emo. hoho. drop it.

being thankful is a great decision. thinking about it, though that formerly for me it started merely after i get merajuk because my elders were never so supportive and as they weren't so attracted to those gadgets. they never thought of giving my anything like it, not even once. that fact had always been haunting me down, making me down, down deeper by days. and i never pick myself up again. so at the end, i just tried my best to be thankful and i gradually being positive and i went just fine. i always regret for not being straight forward with them. i never tell them about me. (ayat makan dalam ni, hoho). so, if you got problems just share them with your family. don't regret them later, just like me. drop it.

then about the "ash wednesday". if i say about "from ash to ash". do you get it? we're from ash, and we'll be ash when we're dead. so, today the priest had made the sign of the cross on our dagu to remind us about life. it shows that the way of the cross has begin. remembering us that we may die anytime and keep our life clean. keep it out from sins. when we remember about the death, we will do good things. maybe some would just ignore it. when you are not that faithful, it would be normal to think that way. i don't have the right to judge. we choose our own path and decisions. we just can lead other's but we can't decide for them. usually, when people decide your life, you would never be thankful for their help but will keep on hating them for making your life that way. though it is a great life you're in, because it is natural to fight for freedom. human have been trying to get the freedom since thousands years ago. we never know the truth. we never know the truth beyond our history books. human are cunning and thoughtful. so, here is where we have "faith". when you have no faith, you wouldn't even believe everything. you may call me a freak. i'm just trying to be better. 

btw. congratulation to all my buddies who had passed their JPJ test! hohoho, i'm proud with you guys. haha, how i wished that i'd made it too. i sound so jealous. didn't i? haha. seriously hell yeah i'm jealous!. i'm so sorry, i'd been a lil bit down these days. 


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