it is fact and fate. just deal. keep calm

i don't know what i'm doing. xda kerja!! but life's good. so far it is just fine. okay. but i'm acting childish. still. trying to be more matured. why i don't work and try to find jobs? despite all of their opinions and stories. well said. i'd never denied em. but. i got reasons. i'm living my life. i don't think that i can even have a great-long vacation in the future. working and have experiences are good too. either good or bad. i can deal but. i want the holiday. the only.   





as i woke up this morning, i felt weird. i was wet. sweating. i was wondering why and i think so hard and then i remembered what i was dreaming back then. i'd never thought. i'd never dream as such. sound girly and funny. maybe because i really miss my friends so much. sighing. life is great now but, i miss that greatly-complicated life too. i'm not wise. as i woke up, i'm like,


i miss the time when me n my friends are like

               
enjoying difficulties together. chatting about rubbishes. never doubt to act freely. showing our true colour. but now, i know we're grown up already. marve! but this is the only thing that i'm feeling sick now. i can't show my true self at home and i think that other are dealing with the same thing too. hypocrite. i tend. i act. and people mock me. congratulation for making my life harder. thank you. i appreciate them. no one else will. hoho. selalu plak aku cakap ayat ni..ntah dah ke berapa kali. selalu jugak aku merepek kan. dek masa berlalu, with no task to do. and i'm like 

hahaha...gla. but most of the time, i'm trying my best to be myself. but, when no one around. dek kekurangan muscle streching kat muka because jarang buat expression gila2, aku pun selalu la gerak2 muka. n bila tiada manusia lain kelihatan. yeah, mission accomplish! hoho i more or less suppose to look like this,
     

but of course la...i'm ugly. no, uglier.
pastu ketawa sorng like awkward pumpkin. pergh..full-package idiot! hoho
k. then~

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