stupidity that kills

as i glanced away apart from looking straight to the front like a complete-package idiot, hey, i know these people! could you imagine what i feel at the moment. but well, i didn't do special, extraordinary things. well, i stayed unsocial as 'usual', annoying-to-other type. funny till i felt that i would be dead if i didn't stayed strong. well, these days it wasn't as easy as before. you know it very well too.

i met lots of people, but there were some that kept my heart pumping as if it would burst, i saw my primary school best friend. well, i only saw one. She is Fedelia. a big, plumpy, pink girl back then. well, she had grown up to be a beautiful one! a bit taller than me with a model look. i actually want to approached her, but i had no guts man! ergh! feels like shit!

but she actually saw me too, and she didn't do anything too. well, maybe, time passed by and people do change. it is hard to be as it is, for 5 years apart. we change, the way we being social. weird eh to be matured. can't tells how it differ from each and everyone of us.

today, we had this 'christmasparade'. we walked about 3km i guess. rounding the city only. all were my friend, but only a bit that i managed to be socially, committed? maybe i was bad. they annoyed to see me. sad eh? they are annoyed, sicked and hated me! even alex made a "facelikehell" to me. well, i replied him with a laughter. lol...i'm stupid, really damned stupid. punya laa...stupid ass...hurhurhurhhur...i just don't know how. that's all. freaking hard to explain. punya la senang aku kacau semua budak kat skolah. but then when it come to these society, i'm the total dumb-ass. deergh! dush! fire in the hole...there lied dale on the floor of dumbness. so true? yeah! idk why but i just can't be with them. they're just so different to me. not that i'm sombong like they said, it's a bit awkward! hohoho, i had used lots of cursing today. i'll never used them again. i promise. 

so, that's all for my heart-vomitting today.


blessed christmas!   


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